Pumpkin Pt. 1

Where do I begin with this one? This is a drawing of my dad and I; the picture was taken back in 2006, a happier time, I suppose. I don't commonly think about my dad, I don't necessarily think about how much I miss him or how I wish I could see him again, so it was odd for me to sit and look through old photos. I don't really know my dad; I do, but I don't. My dad was physically part of my life for 10 years, the second half of those were not the best. Mental illness, self medicating for years, debt, heroin, arguments, threats, uncertainty. I feel like I remember the negative more because I was older, my parents couldn't hide it from me like they used to. At the same time, when he was sober and stable, life was good. Life was great, things felt complete. So here I am, 6 years since he died. I don't want to say his image is fading, but I know less of who he was than I did before. I see the good from some (the ones who praise him, who act like he was a saint), and I see the bad from others (the one who felt the pain). I suppose I no longer see my view, my memories aren't there anymore. I don't necessarily feel sad, the anger has faded, and I can't say I'm happy. Maybe I'll figure it out one day, but, for now, it is what it is.

I figured I'd post a progress picture of the Elton John drawing I started 2-ish weeks ago. I'm coloring it based off the album booklet (from 'Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Piano Player'), so the colors in the actual picture are a bit more yellow/orange (just in case you were questioning the color choices). This has been a project I really enjoy; it's pretty relaxing.

"Parts Unknown," Acrylic on Canvas, 18x24 Some actions we will never know the reason behind, and, quite honestly, we don't always need to know the answer. Anthony Bourdain committed suicide on June 8th, 2018, news that was shocking for most to hear. People continue to speculate what could have caused him to commit suicide, some feel he had more to do, to say before he died. Personally, I find there's some feeling of closure or completeness to his death. I don't know what the feeling is exactly, but it's there. It feels like he left on his own terms, decided it was time. I wouldn't consider his death as him waving a white flag to addiction and depression. He said his shows were intended to tell other's stories, tell them frankly and truthfully. It's interesting how blunt and honest he could seem to be about himself, though he kept so many layers held within. Although we'd love to have a clear cut answer, explanation, reason, what would knowing that information change?