Maia Palomar's Uploads

Frustration, anger, lines, and hand

This week has been dedicated mainly to creating a birthday gift for my other coach (Happy 31st B-day!!). I won't ramble on for too long, but I'm so extremely lucky to have him as a coach and in my life. I can't thank him enough for all the times he's caught me/saved me from wiping out, and for being someone I can genuinely trust. Thank you to him for making the gym a safe space for me, and for letting me open up. Anyway, I really enjoyed making this, though I can't deny I got stuck (idea wise) at one point.

Where do I begin with this one? This is a drawing of my dad and I; the picture was taken back in 2006, a happier time, I suppose. I don't commonly think about my dad, I don't necessarily think about how much I miss him or how I wish I could see him again, so it was odd for me to sit and look through old photos. I don't really know my dad; I do, but I don't. My dad was physically part of my life for 10 years, the second half of those were not the best. Mental illness, self medicating for years, debt, heroin, arguments, threats, uncertainty. I feel like I remember the negative more because I was older, my parents couldn't hide it from me like they used to. At the same time, when he was sober and stable, life was good. Life was great, things felt complete. So here I am, 6 years since he died. I don't want to say his image is fading, but I know less of who he was than I did before. I see the good from some (the ones who praise him, who act like he was a saint), and I see the bad from others (the one who felt the pain). I suppose I no longer see my view, my memories aren't there anymore. I don't necessarily feel sad, the anger has faded, and I can't say I'm happy. Maybe I'll figure it out one day, but, for now, it is what it is.

Things aren't working. They're not clicking.

April has truly started off on a high note: 3 days of warm weather (a rare occurrence in an early Chicago spring), I finally did double-backs to the floor at gymnastics, found out I won a few art contests, and I got my first COVID vaccine! It's nice to have things starting to work out, even if it is just temporarily.

It all starts again, but it never even stopped.

Drawing Prompt Submission

I finally got around to adding color to this doodle. I think I like it better than the black and white...

Drawing Prompt Submission

I do indeed have some news! I posted a bit ago that I had submitted a sketchbook to the Brooklyn Art Library and it's finally published. If you want to check it out, you can find it here or you can click on "my website" in my profile: https://www.sketchbookproject.com/library/S326078

We'll see what the month brings... I'm getting back into the swing of things and I'm starting to journal again. November has been good so far.

Drawing Prompt Submission

Throwback to October when CPS was on strike and I had extra time to carve pumpkins. This is one of two I carved, both based off original sketches. I don't own any fancy tools, so I created this using a knife, peeler, zester, and some sandpaper.

(I had gotten some new fine-point pens last week, and I figured this was a good way to test them out.) Two very different things have been on my mind lately, maybe there's a connection? I think it's interesting how it's taken me 4 years to figure something out, become comfortable enough to open up to others about it, and then embrace it. Yet it's like living a double life, being authentic to some and keeping secrets from others. On the other hand, to the person receiving this drawing, I know I can't do anything to change the situation even though I wish I could. All I can say is I'm forever grateful for all you do, and I truly hope you decide to take advantage of all the opportunities coming your way.

Inktober Day 4: Radio. A quick paint/doodle while talking with a good friend. Today was decent. Hoping for a better week this time around. "From the end of the world to your town."

People need people; just regular people. Some practice doodles, people in my imagination.