ears

It's an odd feeling to reexperience the old anger and frustration I thought I had overcome, but, in all reality, I've been letting it creep back in for a while now. There was a moment of fear, it's still in the back of my mind, I'm afraid to slip back into the mental place I was a couple of years back. I'd like to say I've finally realized that it's ok to be afraid, and even a bit frustrated, but it's a matter of how I handle those emotions and my own reactions that make the difference.

Maia, one of two current German Shepherds was born here at our house ten years ago. She is a grand old lady with a big ears, a big ruff and a sweet personality. This drawing was done from a photo reference AND her sleeping at my feet. I used Pigma Micron Pens in black and brown with a little graphite smudging to add a bit of shadow.

(fineliner on 190mm x 130mm paper) A mysterious travelling librarian who even wears one of his books as a hat!

I have dragged this typewriter around for more than 50 years. I found it in an antique store when I was in college. It's still fully useable, except that it's REALLY hard to find ribbons. Basically, it's just another object to dust. But it is a beautifully made object. The basic shapes and perspective were blocked in with a 2H pencil, then I used a Sakura 005 micron pen to do the contour drawing.

This is my friend Peat. He is a highly refined, mature gentleman (9 years old). But he still absolutely loves to play in the mud!

I’ve been doing ink doodles somewhat like this since the early 80s but I have to give a shout-out to Visoth Kakvei for greatly influencing my style the last couple of years.

A cafe that makes only baked goods with berries, staffed only by bears. Mostly marker, with felt tip pen and a little finishing in Photoshop.

The source reference image was from an impromptu photo shoot I did several years ago. The available light in the room was magical and the model was just sitting there meditating. Pencil, Charcoal Pencil, Pastel Pencils on 9” x 12” Strathmore Archival Sketchbook Paper.

Old drawing that I did few years ago

I've been re-reading the Harry Potter Series, and now am on a quest to do a small illustration for each of the books. This one is from "The Sorcerer's Stone" and features Mrs. Norris, my favorite evil cat.

I did this drawing like 3 years ago and redrew it in 2020 :3

Bear. Among the backwoodsmen of America there was a superstition that bears breed only once every seven years, and when they did this caused such a disturbance in the atmosphere that any cattle in the district which were about to calve would lose their young. From "A DICTIONARY OF OMENS AND SUPERSTITIONS" by Philippa Waring. https://www.instagram.com/p/CA5Y7HaBrTw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead fanart i've made almost 4 years ago, still love this character even though i'm no longer watching the show :(

Another doodle realised for my personal 100 Days Project.

One of my favorite pieces I did for Inktober a couple of years ago. The prompt was juicy. I went with an NBC Hannibal aesthetic. You would not believe how much fun I had coloring those pomegranates.

It's crazy to think that 6 years have already flown by since I first moved onto the Xcel gymnastics team, let alone the fact that I've spent 15 years of my life as a gymnast. Tomorrow, August 6th, 2021, marks my last day as a gymnast on the team since I'm officially a college student. I've genuinely been dreading this day, but it's not the ending I expected...in an oddly good way. I know no one expected to spend the past year in a pandemic, and I definitely didn't think gym would shift so much in the following months, but here we are. Gymnastics has taught me more than I ever imagined it could, and my coaches (especially one of them) have become two of the people I'm closest with, words can't describe how grateful I am for everything. This 'ending' doesn't feel like an end, more so a closing to this chapter. Honestly, my love for the sport has only grown, and it feels like I'm finally figuring it all out. So, although my final practice as a team member is tomorrow, my journey is not over yet. "Goodbyes are the hardest part, and this ending has been something I’ve been dreading, although I know it’s time to let go. I’d like to say this isn’t a permanent goodbye to you or the sport, it’s more of a natural conclusion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you’ve done for me and managed to teach me in this short amount of time, I couldn’t have asked for anyone, or anything, better. Thank you most of all for helping me achieve my dreams and for helping me get to a point in which I can say I’m proud of my journey. All that’s left to say is I care about you, I love you, and take care."

hey there☘️ while taking a walk in the forest i came across a little treehouse. it inspired me to draw this one. i love to look at the stars at night and drawing this reminds me of the times where i looked at the beautiful night sky in france some years ago.✨ have a lovely day :)

Where do I begin with this one? This is a drawing of my dad and I; the picture was taken back in 2006, a happier time, I suppose. I don't commonly think about my dad, I don't necessarily think about how much I miss him or how I wish I could see him again, so it was odd for me to sit and look through old photos. I don't really know my dad; I do, but I don't. My dad was physically part of my life for 10 years, the second half of those were not the best. Mental illness, self medicating for years, debt, heroin, arguments, threats, uncertainty. I feel like I remember the negative more because I was older, my parents couldn't hide it from me like they used to. At the same time, when he was sober and stable, life was good. Life was great, things felt complete. So here I am, 6 years since he died. I don't want to say his image is fading, but I know less of who he was than I did before. I see the good from some (the ones who praise him, who act like he was a saint), and I see the bad from others (the one who felt the pain). I suppose I no longer see my view, my memories aren't there anymore. I don't necessarily feel sad, the anger has faded, and I can't say I'm happy. Maybe I'll figure it out one day, but, for now, it is what it is.

An older one from 3 years ago. Still one of my favorites and my best work despite the obvious flaws.

I’m often asked about my Bic pen drawings and how I do them. It starts with a good foundational drawing, the ballpoint pen part is just trying to colour within the lines. I try to do my best to explain the process, but the best way to show my progress is by posting my efforts to master pen drawings over the span of 3 or so years. I have been doodling/drawing with ballpoint pens as far back as I can remember - they were cheap, readily available and always lying around the house. It wasn’t until I was bored during a particularly long team meeting-conference call (around 2016-17) that I started to think about the possibilities of ballpoint pens as serious portrait illustration tools. My first experiments with full colour ink portrait drawings were rather crude, but that’s the point of learning new techniques—as long as the curiosity and the love of drawing is there, you can transfer that skill and passion into any medium. Remember, the most exquisite drawings and paintings you see didn’t materialise fully formed, they started out as failed experiments. Failure after failure after failure. It’s important to remember this when you get discouraged (I've failed spectacularly over the years). The only difference between the accomplished artist and the beginner is hundreds of hours of practice. Talent can only get you so far. It’s the hard work that you do behind the scenes that makes your work look effortless. Keep doodling. Keep learning. Stay curious.

A wonderful model I had two years ago brought the most amazing dresses. This was rather a plain one, but very elegant.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NABRE)

Omens : Crocodile. The Indians believe that crocodiles make a moaning and sighing noise like a human being in distress to attract their victims. They also have a curious superstition that the creatures shed their famous "tears" over a victim's head after they have devoured the body - and then polish off the head to complete the meal! From "A DICTIONARY OF OMENS AND SUPERSTITIONS" by Philippa Waring

At first I planned on keeping this drawing realistic. But over a week ago I learned that a dear friend lost their sibling in an accident. Then this past weekend I worked on a small project that really struck a chord with me. I helped a friend and her son record a song she dedicated to her father, who had recently passed away as well. They sang "Let it Be" by the Beatles. There was so much emotion in the air. And for the first time ever I was brought to tears after I mixed a song. For the rest of the weekend I thought about my family a LOT. Especially my Parents. They've done so fucking much for me and my brother. It sucks that, only as an adult, I realized that every fiber of who I am, and where I am now is due to their love, support, and sacrifice. This piece goes out to the people you can count on. They're there for you no matter what the cost... No matter the pain, even if it's literally killing them. It's Purely out of Love and they wouldn't have it any other way❤️.

Chromatography is used in chemistry to dissolve a mixture and place it into a "mobile phase," which allows the solvent to carry it and its components up the paper. It shows the layers, exposing deeper, hidden tones and colors, something only seen when a solvent of the same polarity is used. It's odd. Life feels a bit like that, and I'm seeing the colors separate for the first time. It's all there, everything that's been hidden in the inky mess for the past however many years. And now it's smeared. Bold. Clear. But blurry. What's on me and what's on you? Where do we go from here?

Pencil drawing I did a number of years ago. Self portrait of myself with my mare, Chia. Graphite on bristol board. Took probably about 40 hours. This particular piece is sold.

This is probably my best work yet. It's just me but in space. And with ears.

Okay, try not to focus on those ears... Try to appreciate the nice background and even the dragonflies flying around. Anything. But. The ears. But, my gosh, how adorable! Look at the way he wiggles his ears! How adorable! Isn’t it illegal to be this cute? It makes you want to pick it up and hug it to bits!

Ink painting - scene from last years Joker which I loved.

One of my favorite paintings I did a few years ago :)