Recently I saw beautiful Van Gogh exhibition. I really enjoyed movement of his brush and vivid colours. It was more about energy and feelings than realistic details.
I am always gravitating towards realism and always want to spend more and more time perfecting paintings like they are never really finished so this time I decided to challenge myself not to do that.
Sketchbook #7. This time I decided to try 100 heads challenge. It was quite fun, but it took me 2 months instead of 10 days though... I haven't used all the provided references and mixed them with my own. Entries 1-10, mechanical pencil.
I would like to not care about the pain, allow it to pass and let it flow without fighting it, which is perhaps the only way to let it go. Then I will understand that if I give myself trust, I will be able to remember and I will feel in my heart how many lights I found every time I felt lost.
Self-portrait - Taste - mixmedia on sketchbook - I would like not to let myself be afflicted by the influences of the past, even when they return forcefully, by the panic they create in me, by the pain that still manages to seduce me in such an attractive way.
I would like to fight for myself because every time I have done it I have never regretted it, not even when I failed. But I would also like to give myself the rest to sit back and not have to overdo it: to sit and savor what is there, and also savor nothing if necessary.
2023, Ballpoint pen on 5” x 8” acid free Moleskine sketchbook paper, Adobe Photoshop. First sketchbook drawing of 2024! Based on a photo of a model in a makeup company advert.
