self

Bronwyn lounging on the leather Barcelona chair looking bored. I really don't like drawing feet, which is why I forced myself to draw her feet.

It's been a while since I draw on kraft paper. So, here is the result on the thinking process: How can faun shield themselves from sunlight if they can't put a hat on? Answer: They tie branches to theirs horns. ... I should be the one shielding myself from the sun just so it can't kill anymore neurones. --- Ça faisait vraiment un moment que je n’avais pas dessiné sur du kraft. Donc voilà le résultat de la réflexion: Comment les faunes font pour se mettre à l’abri du soleil s’ils ne peuvent pas mettre de chapeau? Réponse: Ils s’attachent des branches dans les cornes. … Je crois que c’est moi qui devrait me protéger la tête du soleil, histoire que ça ne cogne pas trop sur mes pauvres neurones.

While Venice has surrendered itself to unadulterated tourism, Lido remains a tiny bastion of slow life. Lounging on the piers, biking on empty roads, sitting for hours in cafes...

From my ❤️Note to Self sketchbook:

” Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul to waste ” I have had an idea for a long time to illustrate Sympathy for the Devil from Rolling Stones. This start from free sketching of cloud looking lines and soon i realise they look like atom bomb cloud. Original idea was more landscape version but maybe later.

The raven familiar sat atop Florien's head making a mess of his braids. Weaving herself a new nest, she pulled a long strand free from a loooping braid her gleaming beak tucking it into a place that she deemed appropriate. She watched the snowy landscape alert to danger as she worked.

First OFFICIAL Commission! 8x10, Watercolor and Pen. Hey everyone! This time, I'm actually back. First off, let me say I was not planning to fall off the face of the Earth again. At the time I last posted, I had a little less than a month of school left and I had hoped I could wrap up all my final projects early and be done. I was wrong. My teachers assigned more and I had work due up to the day before school ended, but I survived! Since my last post, I do have some updates. 1. I did indeed graduate high school! I was very lucky my school not only had a ceremony, but it was at Soldier Field. (I'm very happy to say I graduated Summa Cumme Laude and with the honors of completing the Alpha STEM and the Arts program.) 2. I also got an Instagram! I'll be using it not only to post final pieces but also as a way to post progress. {@mapalomar.arts} With regards to this painting, it is my first official commission, past commissions were from people I knew (family or friends) but this one isn't. I can say I'm pretty proud of the end result, especially as a person who doesn't consider themself a watercolor artist, it's not too shabby. :) Anyway, I hope this piece will have a safe journey all the way to its new home in Massachusetts.

The monsters we create A collection of creatures born from our impact and existance on Earth. This is a work in progress project, it doesn't yet have a name, but the story becomes more clear every day. Soon I will have more details about it, until then take care, this runner is taking a real shape and it's after you. He is the money maker, the greedy, the selfish buyer of unnecessary things with money he doesn't have. Sounds familyar? 7x7 cm linoprint © Maria ! Balan, 2018

Another blue watercolour - this time a self portrait. Thanks for viewing

Experimenting with things from my sketchbook and digital way to glue everything together

I’ve been going through a bit of an art slump lately, but I finally got myself to pick up the pencil and finish this. My reference photo was a bit grainy so had some trouble with that, but overall I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out. Done in graphite, drawing itself is about 5x6 in

"Chameleon, you're free again, my child." I think using song lyrics may be slightly cheating...but it is quoted text... I feel like I haven't made a 'purposeful' piece in a bit, so this drawing felt even better to make. There have been multiple ups and downs lately. Frustration, self-hate, and anxiety can take many forms, and eventually I lose sight of what they started as. I heard this song for the first time a few months ago and it's really been stuck in my head recently for various reasons. I don't know, sometimes music provides an escape that even art can't.

No, I can't get it out of my head, now my whole world is gone for dead. This song has been stuck in my head for a while now, kind of interesting. I apologize for the long ramble of reflection this will be, but here I go. It's been an interesting few weeks, ups and downs, odd mindsets, but here I am. I don't know, quarantine has shifted a lot of things for everyone, and I've noticed a lot of changes in myself. I jokingly say I'm becoming soft, but it's a bit true, in a good way. I'm thankful for so many people in my life, and I'm finally letting those people how much they mean to me. I know I've said this before, but gymnastics has really been getting me through, and I'm proud of all the progress I've been making recently. My coaches make my life better, they're just incredible people and I love them so much. Thank you to the person I had a whole long text conversation with tonight (you know who you are) and for always dealing with my chaotic self. And finally, I've started to accept who I am, and that's a nice feeling. There's still the dark parts, the static still consumes me from time to time, but tonight was a good night. Thank you for all the support from everyone (in and outside of this community!). I genuinely appreciate all of it

selfportrait as one of my girls - element unknown

(fineliner pen on a 125mm x 75mm notecard) There was a time when manga and animé were cool, but now it's everywhere and a shadow of its former self, with the stigma of hentai attached to it.

Drawing inks on Claybord.

Did you ever have a page in your sketchbook that was so bad and so embarrassing that you tore it out and chucked it? This was one of those pages that made me cringed every time I came to it. So today I said to myself, "ENOUGH!" and ripped it out of my moleskine. But something wouldn't let me throw it in the can. Now, I'm not one of those artists that can't bring himself to throw away any of his stuff because each and every piece, good or bad holds some kind of sentimentality or sense of importance. This particular page was a result of a crappy angst filled day and stuff poured out of me. For some reason, it felt like I was throwing away some piece of my soul. There were parts that were overworked and others that were painfully too personal. So I decided to cut it up and put it back together in no particular order, however it seemed best. As I was pasting the pieces down it occurred to me that this had a comic book feel so I scanned the final and added the black borders in photoshop which I really dug. I like that it is cryptic and jumbled up like my brain can so often be. This reminded me of the awesome @johnhendrix who said something in his book, Drawing Is Magic that stuck with me. He said, "Don't worry about doing anything wrong. If you're hoping your sketchbook turns into a glossy display of only your best drawings, you are not carrying a sketchbook, you are carrying a portfolio." In other words, explore, take chances, loosen up and have fun. Try your best to go at it like an uninhibited child. In so doing, you will stretch as an artist by avoiding repetition and predictability. We all know how to do what we already know. To sum up, I created a bad page, and whether or not I was able to fix it, it expanded me. So, follow your pencil, pen, or whatever and let them take you to places you never imagined when you started. Then, maybe you will end up staring happily at the final and with childlike wonder, say, "man, where did that come from?"

BEING GREEDY CHOKES ANANSI From Favorite Folktales around the world by Jane Yolen. One time, Anansi lived in a country that had a queen who was also a witch. And she decreed that whoever used the word five would fall down dead, because that was her secret name, and she didn’t want anyone using it. Now, Buh Anansi was a clever fellow, and a hungry one too. Things were especially bad because there was a famine, so Anansi made a little house for himself by the side of the river near where everyone came to get water. And when anybody came to get water, he would call out to them, “I beg you to tell me how many yam hills I have here. I can’t count very well.” So, one by one he thought they would come up and say, “One, two, three, four, five,” and they would fall down dead. Then Anansi would take them and corn them in his barrel and eat them, and that way he would have lots of food in hungry times and in times of plenty.

Taken me a while to finish this one - not feeling very focused lately. Also, I restricted myself to using Bic’s yellow ink, which is way more vibrant than the cheap 10-colour ink click pens that I usually use.

Where do I begin with this one? This is a drawing of my dad and I; the picture was taken back in 2006, a happier time, I suppose. I don't commonly think about my dad, I don't necessarily think about how much I miss him or how I wish I could see him again, so it was odd for me to sit and look through old photos. I don't really know my dad; I do, but I don't. My dad was physically part of my life for 10 years, the second half of those were not the best. Mental illness, self medicating for years, debt, heroin, arguments, threats, uncertainty. I feel like I remember the negative more because I was older, my parents couldn't hide it from me like they used to. At the same time, when he was sober and stable, life was good. Life was great, things felt complete. So here I am, 6 years since he died. I don't want to say his image is fading, but I know less of who he was than I did before. I see the good from some (the ones who praise him, who act like he was a saint), and I see the bad from others (the one who felt the pain). I suppose I no longer see my view, my memories aren't there anymore. I don't necessarily feel sad, the anger has faded, and I can't say I'm happy. Maybe I'll figure it out one day, but, for now, it is what it is.

I've spent recent lockdown days watching far too many Youtube videos about attachment styles and honestly it makes a lot of sense. Here is a little message for my anxious preoccupied self

"Desire so strong that self-control felt like putting out a forest fire." 8" x 4" Graphite on Toned Paper Story and Timelapse: https://www.instagram.com/_apricotjams https://www.youtube.com Audio Journals: https://www.apricotjamspodcast.com League of Legends (LiveStream): https://www.twitch.tv/apricotjams Business Inquiries: apricotjamspodcast@gmail.com Official Links: https://www.pinterest.com/apricotjamspodcast https://www.twitter.com/_aprictotjams https://www.artstation.com/apricotjams https://www.doodleaddicts.com/apricotjams https://www.behance.com/apricotjams https://www.deviantart.com/apricotjamsofficial https://apricotjamsart.tumblr.com/ https://ello.co/apricotjams - © 2019 Apricot Jams

This beautifull peace I did in the course I had in university, reproduction. I really surprised myself with the result ^_^ . It is done with oilcolors on canvas.

just getting back to my doodler self. loving it.

Grow your mind...

I wanted to challenge myself with a different type of drawing without spending too much time on it. I am pretty satisfied with the results. It came out looking a lot more disgusting than I intended but it still works. lol Done in Graphite and Watercolor.

Digital painting