Yo idk what the f I put in my bio before but yeah if you saw that you ignore that - ima just post random drawings I make when I’m bored in class now so yeah
Shadows follow but I will move on! I have PTSD, so I am tormented by my past. Anxious for what's behind me. But I won't let that stop me! I may have "Lead in my shoes" (Dutch "Lood in mijn schoenen"), sometimes feel empty while on other times I am red from anger, nothing will stop me moving on. There will be temporary throwbacks, progress is not linear, but I will get there. I won't drown in self-pity this time.
In barren wintermonths you may start to wonder if spring will ever come again. Yes it does. Plants already have done their preparations. Life will be on earth till the sun dies down, people might not. Nature has it's ways, but those might not involve humans per se.
I made this as a reminder for myself. My past and my environment might hurt me, but inside I am safe, I am enough, I am okay, I am minee. I'm experiencing hard times with trauma and other stuff, so I needed a reminder for myself. This is on my door now. I covered up some personal details, the white blobs. March 2020. Pastel on paper.
Dude this thing is gonna be a wip especially cause I’m shit at shading *obviously* so that’s gonna take me a while -I’ve spent 45minutes on this thing so far I’ma continue it later
Must Survive. My neighbour is triggering one of my trauma's at the moment. Sometimes all you can do is survive, sit through and wait for it to stop. Resist. I have to be strong. My neighbour will stop (hopefully before I go to bed).
I am composed. I am more than just a label. Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes anxious (well more than just sometimes), sometimes playful, sometimes sad, sometimes brace, sometimes even too brave, sometimes creative, sometimes numb, sometimes... Oh by the way, I got a bipolar II diagnosis, for context. March 2020. Pastel on Canson cotton, honeycomb surface paper (32cmx24cm).
This is a work I made as a reaction to a questionaire about suicide. I got over it, but I have been there, done that. Despair, the feeling of drowning, reaching out but never getting the help you need, deep dark depression, the grey-brown brainfog. Yet: there is some light, there always is, but I'm too scared to look at the light. I didn't varnish this pastel-drawing, just to accentuate the fragility of mental health. What you need to know it that I got out of this and so can you if you are this deep in trouble. I'm doing much better. January 2020, pastel on A3 paper.
First time oil pastel. Concepts and Hope: as a woman struggling with autism spectrum disorder I grew up not understanding basic concepts in the world around me. Maybe this is universal. I didn't understand why we had to go out to play in school for example, or I didn't understand other people might not be as honest as I always had been. A lot of concepts have a different meaning for someone like me. So here I am naked between the concepts, misunderstood but hopefully looking up. Maybe one day the world will be more like my ideals are, maybe I will create a circle around me of likeminded people, maybe the world will never change enough but I will find peace with myself. One day I will get peace, one way or another. Hope. Oh and yeah, it's a mess with the oil at the bottom. Does anyone have some ideas to improve my technique?
This is a self-portrait. I didn't use a mirror or a picture here. This is what I look like in my own memories. It's a bit misleading, I think I am skinnier than the drawing suggests, but that doesn't feel like me. I have been overweight for years and I feel like I am too skinny at the moment. I feel like I should be curvier like in the drawing. This is about body-image, body-dysmorphia even. I do have those clothes, glasses and haircut. This work is pastel on paper (it's quite big, but I don't have a measure closeby)
I asked for help because I saw it coming. They didn't provide suitable help for me. It came, no-one listened and they tried to send me away to save my neighbours, but I stayed. Then, after everyone was gone, they listened. WHY? Just why isn't MY safety imporant enough? I've been reaching out for weeks here (for months, years elsewhere). Why do you try to save my neighbours but never me? It only came because my neighbours drove me insane and I triedt to keep it all in. WHY?
My project for a skillshare course I am taking. I am trying to work on developing more textures and drama to my paintings as well as improving on the composition. Any advice or tips that you can share would be appreciated. Thanks!
Painted as a project for Painting Environments class: skl.sh/32Khrti
Project parameters:
- Mysterious Cave
- Dark but with moody lighting
- Mostly warm colors but with single blue flower
- Flower is the focal point - use composition to lead eye to flower
Inspired by the wonderful tutorial by rafy A, you can find it here: https://youtu.be/JM-esQnGIhQ
Camera photo source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/aperture-black-blur-camera-274973/
Forest and child source: Unsplash.com
This is my first full landscape project that I painted for a skillshare course. It was frustrating at times but I really enjoyed working through the multiple steps of this painting. I wanted to see what I could do it I pushed myself and I am happy with the final painting. I need to focus some more study on trees in the future, I like how the foreground tree came out, the forest edge was much more difficult. I attached the progess photos of this painting from sketch to final piece
I painted this as my project piece for course on Skillshare: https://skl.sh/2O4p8Gp
Here are my progess photos: https://www.skillshare.com/projects/Sacred-Valley/209235
Hello, my name is Samantha, 
