I finally attempted to do a drawing completely in ballpoint pen (I faced my fears of messing up). Thank you to my friend for donating their face to this cause, very much appreciated. The drawing isn't 100% accurate, I think we can all agree on that, but a decent first try.
Drawing Prompt Submission
Everything is a mess and I'm genuinely scared. And it's all out of my control.
People need people; just regular people. Some practice doodles, people in my imagination.
Just some cards for some friends.
"Hold your head up, you silly girl. Look what you've done. When you find yourself in the thick of it,
help yourself to a bit of what is all around you, silly girl." Frustration, frustration, and the anxiety that goes hand-in-hand with it. It's hard to let these things go.
Over a year ago, I finished my Robin Williams portrait, and I decided I wanted to create a series of different black and white portraits. So far, this is the happiest I've been with a piece in a while. There's no expectation, there's no real pressure on this, it's me falling in love with painting again. I've only been working on this for a week, so there isn't a ton of progress. I suppose I'll reveal who the person is later once more progress is made but for now, enjoy.
I know this isn't an elaborate piece and I know I've posted different cards before, but I just wanted to wish everyone a merry Christmas and happy holidays! I hope everyone is doing well and can enjoy the time left in 2020. Thank you for being so supportive of my art, and for sharing some of the most incredible art I've ever seen!
No, I can't get it out of my head, now my whole world is gone for dead. This song has been stuck in my head for a while now, kind of interesting. I apologize for the long ramble of reflection this will be, but here I go. It's been an interesting few weeks, ups and downs, odd mindsets, but here I am. I don't know, quarantine has shifted a lot of things for everyone, and I've noticed a lot of changes in myself. I jokingly say I'm becoming soft, but it's a bit true, in a good way. I'm thankful for so many people in my life, and I'm finally letting those people how much they mean to me. I know I've said this before, but gymnastics has really been getting me through, and I'm proud of all the progress I've been making recently. My coaches make my life better, they're just incredible people and I love them so much. Thank you to the person I had a whole long text conversation with tonight (you know who you are) and for always dealing with my chaotic self. And finally, I've started to accept who I am, and that's a nice feeling. There's still the dark parts, the static still consumes me from time to time, but tonight was a good night. Thank you for all the support from everyone (in and outside of this community!). I genuinely appreciate all of it
I do indeed have some news! I posted a bit ago that I had submitted a sketchbook to the Brooklyn Art Library and it's finally published. If you want to check it out, you can find it here or you can click on "my website" in my profile:
I suppose this was just a tester/practice piece? My first actual still life from observation and my first time actually using charcoal (yes, I've never truly used charcoal before. Charcoal and pastels are two things I avoid. Their looseness and freeness scare me, considering how rigid I can be). Not sure how to feel about this one. I'm my worst critic, and I've known that for a long time now. There's a lot of practice and progress to be made, but it turned out half-way decent.
Where do I begin with this one? This is a drawing of my dad and I; the picture was taken back in 2006, a happier time, I suppose. I don't commonly think about my dad, I don't necessarily think about how much I miss him or how I wish I could see him again, so it was odd for me to sit and look through old photos. I don't really know my dad; I do, but I don't. My dad was physically part of my life for 10 years, the second half of those were not the best. Mental illness, self medicating for years, debt, heroin, arguments, threats, uncertainty. I feel like I remember the negative more because I was older, my parents couldn't hide it from me like they used to. At the same time, when he was sober and stable, life was good. Life was great, things felt complete. So here I am, 6 years since he died. I don't want to say his image is fading, but I know less of who he was than I did before. I see the good from some (the ones who praise him, who act like he was a saint), and I see the bad from others (the one who felt the pain). I suppose I no longer see my view, my memories aren't there anymore. I don't necessarily feel sad, the anger has faded, and I can't say I'm happy. Maybe I'll figure it out one day, but, for now, it is what it is.