afraid

Pencil on paper. Scanned and blown out i'm afraid, but no longer have the original. A commissioned character sketch

Be curious not afraid!This is part of my daily Sketchgrind day 29. Today's task: drawing from reference spider crabs.

This vampire is afraid of heights! He was done in ink wash, ballpoint, and white gel pen in my sketchbook.

Who's afraid of Little Red Riding Hood?

A great deal of upheaval in my personal life, including making steps to better my mental health as well as reflecting on changes in my work life (potentially) and also my living situation, have dominated my headspace as of late. Long story short, Buddha reminding us all to still any madness in life got me to work here as did the obvious itch to get some drawing done!

“People are afraid to fail and they’re also afraid to succeed. Often times we hold ourselves back because of our insecurities.”

Be not afraid.

[Intro] (D-D-Dark side) [Verse 1: Tomine Harket] We're not in love We share no stories Just somethin' in your eyes Don't be afraid The shadows know me Let's leave the world behind [Chorus: Tomine Harket] Take me through the night Fall into the dark side We don't need the light We'll live on the dark side I see it, let's feel it While we're still young and fearless Let go of the light Fall into the dark side [Post-Chorus: Tomine Harket] Fall into the dark side Give in to the dark side Let go of the light Fall into the dark side[Verse 2: Au/Ra] Beneath the sky As black as diamonds We're runnin' out of time (Time, time) Don't wait for truth To come and blind us Let's just believe their lies [Pre-Chorus: Au/Ra] Believe it, I see it I know that you can feel it No secrets worth keepin' So fool me like I'm dreamin' [Chorus: Tomine Harket & Au/Ra] Take me through the night Fall into the dark side We don't need the light We'll live on the dark side I see it, let's feel it While we're still young and fearless Let go of the light Fall into the dark side [Post-Chorus: Tomine Harket & Au/Ra] Fall into the dark side Give in to the dark side Let go of the light Fall into the dark side[Bridge] (D-D-Dark side) (Dark side) (Dark side) (Dark side) [Chorus: Tomine Harket & Au/Ra] Take me through the night Fall into the dark side We don't need the light We'll live on the dark side I see it, let's feel it While we're still young and fearless Let go of the light Fall into the dark side

Suddenly the light goes out and staying in the dark is a test of resistance, but when everything seems lost, it turns on again, so simply: sometimes a single attempt isn't enough, there are many moments to spend without light, but you don't have to be afraid of it, because sooner or later we will succeed in the undertaking and it will make you smile as the thing that seemed so difficult came spontaneously, it was enough not to force the process. I hate the darkness because it shows me a version of myself that I would never want to meet, yet if I accept that the punches of life in some periods are stronger than others, sometimes leaving bruises and burns, but that life itself has granted me caresses like this sweets that I would not have appreciated without going through pain, then everything around me will seem golden. I can only appreciate the hatred and wonder of it. I can feel those caresses, I can savor them with the same intensity with which I feel the pain of the punches, because ultimately they give so much: the strength to take another step, to not give up right now, right now that I am so close to feeling them in my heart those precious caresses.

Dare to join this devious dinner? Melvin, Marigold, Morgana and Murial invite you to an evening filled with deathly excitement. Come and splurge on poisoned candied apples (which far outshine the pathetic apples of the evil queen), dragon roasted bone marrow, the most delicious pumpkin pies, chicken feed pot pies (a family recipe from the famous Baba Yaga herself), or a sinful devil's food cake (thank you, Uncle Mephistopheles). Maybe, my dear friend, a glass of wine or a vial of fresh, still warm blood will help to wash away all your doubts if to join or not- because what bad can happen with this splendid array of company nestled between the most beautiful blooming wisterias? Don´t be afraid! They don´t bite - at least not all of them.

digital sketch

From the time I was obsessed with Graffiti. "The Mad Hatter: 'Have I gone mad?' Alice: 'I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.'" -Alice In Wonderland

I’m afraid I don’t have the energy for a more detailed effort today. Inspired by a story by a friend of neighbours having a party during lockdown. Brushpens and posca on coloured A4.

And here it is: The Transfiguration! in color ^_^ Elijah and Moses with Jesus and the Apostles from left to right: James the Greater, John and Peter. I have his stigmata in gold because we hadn't recieved the wounds yet but this vision is a big revelation and confirmation of His divinity and mission so I put some signs there, but the apostles would not yet understand, but after they would. Matthew 17: 1-9 [1] And after six days Jesus taketh unto him Peter and James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into a high mountain apart: [2] And he was transfigured before them. And his face did shine as the sun: and his garments became white as snow. [3] And behold there appeared to them Moses and Elias talking with him. [4] And Peter answering, said to Jesus: Lord, it is good for us to be here: if thou wilt, let us make here three tabernacles, one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias. [5] And as he was yet speaking, behold a bright cloud overshadowed them. And lo, a voice out of the cloud, saying: This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased: hear ye him. [6] And the disciples hearing, fell upon their face, and were very much afraid. [7] And Jesus came and touched them: and said to them, Arise, and fear not. [8] And they lifting up their eyes saw no one but only Jesus. [9] And as they came down from the mountain, Jesus charged them, saying: Tell the vision to no man, till the Son of man be risen from the dead.

Peter took His Eye off Jesus and began to sink. Medium: Acrylic on canvas Size: 11”x 15” Date: 2019-2020 This illustration is one of nine, in a mural about the ministry of Christ. This image is block number 7. This painting illustrates Jesus rescuing peter, as he start to sink in to the sea, because he lost his faith when took his eyes off Jesus, and focused on the violence of the winds and waves of the storm. Matthew 14:22-33 New American Standard Bible (NASB) Jesus Walks on the Water 22 Immediately He [a]made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while He sent the crowds away. 23 After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone. 24 But the boat was already [b]a long distance from the land, [c]battered by the waves; for the wind was [d]contrary. 25 And in the [e]fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. 26 When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out [f]in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” 28 Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” 29 And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and *said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, “You are certainly God’s Son!” When I did my research, I Found very few biblical accurate illustrations of the event. Very few captured the darkness and valiance of a stormy sky taking place at 3:00 am in the morning (which is the forth watch of the night. Many illustrations I found, their skies were too bright and calm. I found that the seas in these illustration had the same lack of movement and violence, the sea would have in a storm that was so strong the disciples were not able to make any headway in their crossing the lake. I notice that all illustrations of Jesus walking on water, show the viewer His feet. In reality the waves would most likely block the viewer from seeing his feet on top of the water. The unavoidable black eye in most of these illustrations of Jesus walking on water, is the ridicules and unrealistic possess they have Jesus in, of Him rescuing Peter. You know the ones where He is making some kind of sign with one hand, as it is held up toward the sky, and one hand reaching down to peter. What was I trying to accomplish in my illustration? I want to be careful, to being accurate with costumes styles, and colors worn by the poor people of Galilean society. I wanted to be accurate in illustrating a storm on the sea of Galilee. I looked over numerous photos on line, of storms taking place on the Sea of Galilee. To understanding how the water and sky behave during a storm I studied the colors of sky, clouds, and water, during these conditions, in this location of the world? Showing movement in the air and the water. I used stylist brush strokes, to create movement in the sky and in the water. I am hoping to make people feel the storm’s violent energy. Showing power of the wind blowing against the bodies of Jesus and peter, through the movement of clothes, and hair. Showing the anxiety of Pete, with his body swallowed up to the waist, his face looking up to Jesus to rescue him from drowning. Showing that Jesus offers security to Peter, from being swept away by the wave of the sea. By his secure grasp of Peter’s back arms. He is able to lift Peter out of the water. The message I want my view to receive, is that everyone who comes into the world will experience trials and tribulation. We can overcome our fears and be filled with courage, to enable us to battle our ways through these storm in life. When we place our trust in the one who has authority over the power of the storm, who is Jesus a member of the trinity of God that created all things. Written by Stephen J. Vattimo 3/16/2020

This is the story of a Hitchhiker who found himself lost in the jungle, alone and afraid. To cope with his aloneness, his mind started to hallucinate that he had a companion by his side. He said, 'Do you think people travel by this route?'. His friend answered 'Absolutely, let us sit on this rock and hitch a ride with the next person that comes by...'

Behind the Russian Church there is an abyss. The moss and the rubbish are slippery and jagged old tins glitter at the bottom. For hundreds of years they have piled up higher and higher against a long dark-red house without windows. The red house crawls round the rock and it is very significant that it has no windows. Behind the house is the harbour, a silent harbour with no boats in it. The little wooden door in the rock below the church is always locked. Hold your breath when you run past it, I told Poyu. Otherwise Putrefaction will come out and catch you. Poyu always has a cold. He can play the piano and holds his hands in front of him as if he were afraid of being attacked or was apologizing to someone. I always scare him and he follows me because he wants to be scared. - Sculptor's Daughter by Tove Jansson #dailydrawing #tovejansson

Tao Te Ching “A great nation is like a great man: When he makes a mistake, he realizes it. Having realized it, he admits it. Having admitted it, he corrects it. He considers those who point out his faults as his most benevolent teachers. He thinks of his enemy as the shadow that he himself casts.” ~~~~~~~ CIM Chapter 10 88 Children perceive terrifying ghosts and monsters and dragons, and they are terrified. Yet if they ask someone they trust for the real meaning of what they perceive and are willing to let their interpretations go in favor of reality, their fear goes with them. When a child is helped to translate his “ghost” into a curtain, his “monster” into a shadow, and his “dragon” into a dream, he is no longer afraid and laughs happily at his own fear. You, my children, are afraid of your brothers and of your Father and of yourselves. But you are merely deceived in them. Chapter 12 35 It is through these strange and shadowy figures that the insane relate to their insane world. For they see only those who remind them of these images, and it is to them that they relate. Thus do they communicate with those who are not there, and it is they who answer them, and no one hears their answer save him who called upon them, and he alone believes they answered him. Projection makes perception, and you cannot see beyond it. Again and again have men attacked each other because they saw in them a shadow figure in their own private world. And thus it is that you must attack yourself first, for what you attack is not in others. Its only reality is in your own mind, and by attacking others, you are literally attacking what is not there. 36 The delusional can be very destructive, for they do not recognize that they have condemned themselves. They do not wish to die, yet they will not let condemnation go. And so they separate into their private worlds, where everything is disordered and where what is within appears to be without. Yet what is within they do not see, for the reality of their brothers they cannot see. 41 Vision depends on light, and you cannot see in darkness. Yet in the darkness in the private world of sleep, you see in dreams, although your eyes are closed. And it is here that what you see you made. But let the darkness go, and all you made you will no longer see, for sight of it depends upon denying vision. Yet from denying vision, it does not follow that you cannot see. But this is what denial does, for by it you accept insanity, believing you can make a private world and rule your own perceptions. Yet for this, light must be excluded. Dreams disappear when light has come and you can see.

We hide in the murky water, afraid of our face, when it’s just as valid.

World gone to hell Sons duaghters leaving their families homes, dying of a new and namles plague. Where are the gods? And what has become of my hero? I am king, but no more subjects are under my command. A kingdom falls. A new age dawns, the illest omens herald its bitter arrival . God preserve us. We have forasken god, they do not forasake us. This is why we must be stricken with sickness. . . .. … … Weep for me. Weep for all our brothers and sisters. And now every uncreative poet and halfwit bard seeks to make drama of our troubles. We are their muse, their grand epic to tell the children. Fear the virus, dont look away, disturb the dead, praise us for our lies to you. They lead the masses to slay each out of fear. Cry. Yes, cry Cry for your fallen. They will not be returning for you soon. But you are still alive, and for that you shall become stronger. Onward We cannot always bury the dead. Today , time is against us. We move foward, we carry the sorrow, but the ultimate goal is to defeat sorrow. Whatever form this darkess takes, we face it. Unafraid. And unrelenting. Forge on into the night. Not gently and quiet shall be our passing. For, if i am to end, and you likewise, we plant our flag atop the highest hill. We scream our battle cry and let none forget our actions . The very mountains will shake, and echo our last breath. This is my promise. If i shall die, i die as i am now A man. I have decided. So, i die ….. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKXBKF6a2BWVDy_SgMvk8GQ?view_as=subscriber

- I'm just afraid of blood ...

Victory Through Prayer Medium: Water Color Markers on Illustration Board Size 2' x 4' Year completed: 1991 This illustration is part of a collection of artwork I did while in the military entitled, "The Army Years", I served in the Army National Guard for 5 years, and the regular Army for 4 years. One of the main reasons I got out of the military is because I didn't have much time to do my artwork. While I was stationed in Germany I did a few posters, and banners for a German/ American Playhouse, and I was in a European art show. This illustration was done during The Desert Shield / Desert Storm, during this war, many soldiers were afraid that our military equipment would fail to function due to the desert sand. While I was stationed in Germany, I attended a Christian hospitality house, that ministered to military personnel, and their families. I knew and heard of soldiers who died or were wounded in the war, we prayed for God's protection for those we knew were in harm's way. I believe the reason the casualties were low for the collision force is that God gave them a swift victory on the battlefield. No one should think that it was just might, and smart bombs, Iraq had the 4th largest military in the world. The Bible teaches that God causes the rise and the fall of nations. Decoding the symbolism : The " v " with lightning bolt shooting out of it =God giving the collision forces victory over Iraq's military. The large bold eagle with the arrows in its right talon, and with it's left talon open to attack, = the U.S. attacking Iraq. The banner made up of the flag of the collision, tie to the eagle's open talon= The U.S. leading the collision nation in the war against Iraq. The necklace with the cross attached to it, around the eagle's neck = God protect around the U.S. forces, the result of intercessory prayer of Christians. The flag of Iraq illustrated in the shape of the geological area mass of country, being shattered by the lighting = God judging Iraq, by giving the collision power to conquer Iraq and occupy her land. The land mass colored red at the bottom corner of Iraq = the country Kuwait, that Iraq invaded, that was the cause of the war. Written by Stephen J. Vattimo October 12, 2008