I uploaded a version of this that I felt was kind of a throwaway. Just dinking around and trying to get a feel for techniques. In the end, while I was happy with what I learned, I didn't think much of it as far as a completed work goes. But I couldn't leave it alone so I took about another hour and fixed what I felt could be fixed short of starting from scratch. Because it's a process, right?
This is a self-portrait. I didn't use a mirror or a picture here. This is what I look like in my own memories. It's a bit misleading, I think I am skinnier than the drawing suggests, but that doesn't feel like me. I have been overweight for years and I feel like I am too skinny at the moment. I feel like I should be curvier like in the drawing. This is about body-image, body-dysmorphia even. I do have those clothes, glasses and haircut. This work is pastel on paper (it's quite big, but I don't have a measure closeby)
I asked for help because I saw it coming. They didn't provide suitable help for me. It came, no-one listened and they tried to send me away to save my neighbours, but I stayed. Then, after everyone was gone, they listened. WHY? Just why isn't MY safety imporant enough? I've been reaching out for weeks here (for months, years elsewhere). Why do you try to save my neighbours but never me? It only came because my neighbours drove me insane and I triedt to keep it all in. WHY?
