This super unflattering self portrait comes with a good reason. I bought a magazine about watercolor painting today, thinking looking at beautiful pictures in bed would calm me down before sleep. Didnt happen! An invitation to a spring-themed contest was announced, putting my brain to work in high speed. After 3 hours i gave up sleeping and started some preparation work. Draping my head in a scarf, filming myself in the worst possible angle and making a rough sketch was first step. Hopefully i can get some sleep now.
I got to drop into an outdoor class with my beloved teacher from the studio. A space had finally opened up two weeks before everything in SF shut down again. Well, it was good to see her and my fellow students and be in that setting on a beautiful sunny day. I was also negotiating my next job salary and getting phone calls during class, so I wasn't entirely present. The class topic for the day was palm trees. This is in front of the De Young, another place I was so glad to have visited indoors on another afternoon before the latest lock down.
Will it always be like this? Whenever he tries to love me, will it be just an attempt?
This feeling is what I try to represent with the drawing, the tallest and most beautiful flowers are the negative thoughts towards my body and my person; the withered ones are the positive ones, which drown before the greatness and strength of the others.
