It's crazy to think that 6 years have already flown by since I first moved onto the Xcel gymnastics team, let alone the fact that I've spent 15 years of my life as a gymnast. Tomorrow, August 6th, 2021, marks my last day as a gymnast on the team since I'm officially a college student. I've genuinely been dreading this day, but it's not the ending I expected...in an oddly good way. I know no one expected to spend the past year in a pandemic, and I definitely didn't think gym would shift so much in the following months, but here we are. Gymnastics has taught me more than I ever imagined it could, and my coaches (especially one of them) have become two of the people I'm closest with, words can't describe how grateful I am for everything. This 'ending' doesn't feel like an end, more so a closing to this chapter. Honestly, my love for the sport has only grown, and it feels like I'm finally figuring it all out. So, although my final practice as a team member is tomorrow, my journey is not over yet. "Goodbyes are the hardest part, and this ending has been something I’ve been dreading, although I know it’s time to let go. I’d like to say this isn’t a permanent goodbye to you or the sport, it’s more of a natural conclusion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you’ve done for me and managed to teach me in this short amount of time, I couldn’t have asked for anyone, or anything, better. Thank you most of all for helping me achieve my dreams and for helping me get to a point in which I can say I’m proud of my journey.
All that’s left to say is I care about you, I love you, and take care."
"Untitled," 8×10, Scratchboard: I think it's become evident that I enjoy making portraits no matter what the medium is. I still find it fascinating how much eyes can say, and they can usually fill in the gaps where words fail. I took a chance using Scratchboard, but I think it worked out, I'm pleased with it. I suppose this is a new member of the Black and White Portrait Club :)
The other night I chin-chin with the universe... My quick daily sketch from my sketchbook.
'Glass of universe'. Ink, coffe and red wine. Yes, I was seeping on this wine while sketching...
A silly watercolor sketch, I know, but there's a lot tied to this little thing. There are so many bittersweet feelings lately. I tend to avoid putting a numerical value to time, I don't like the count-down aspect to things, especially knowing how obsessive I can be with that. It allows me to live in some semblance of ignorance (they say ignorance is pure bliss). There's a lot of tip-toeing around what I want to say and what I'm afraid to say, or even what I'd love to explore and embrace and simply afraid to. It's something I'm not used to. It's taken me quite a while to finally sit with certain things, or even acknowledge them, and it feels like there's so much more I'm now realizing. It's odd to be so frank to some and worried that others may find out. There's a lot of shifting again, goodbyes coming soon, complicated feelings and situations.
Hibernation time has definitely come to an end on this part of the globe. It is now time to eat the world and so this one decided to bring himself to life and cast some magick around. Drawings are a very powerful tool for that. This is the first bear that I have ever created on paper and I don't know much about why he came out like this but I'm sure that he knows very well all about that. He is the sigil and I trust his eyes
Used by witches to restore eyesight once their bodies start to decay from being far too old. The liquid is sipped from the shell of a tortoise and eyesight is restored for a period of 6 months. (I just made that up)
I suppose this was just a tester/practice piece? My first actual still life from observation and my first time actually using charcoal (yes, I've never truly used charcoal before. Charcoal and pastels are two things I avoid. Their looseness and freeness scare me, considering how rigid I can be). Not sure how to feel about this one. I'm my worst critic, and I've known that for a long time now. There's a lot of practice and progress to be made, but it turned out half-way decent.
The sweetheart.
From Rooster's Wife by Russell Edson.
An old woman had fallen in love with one of her feet.
Her husband said, No you didn't.
Yes I did, it was sticking out of the covers of my bed, and I said, You're a sweetheart.
No you didn't, said her husband.
Yes I did.
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