Must Survive. My neighbour is triggering one of my trauma's at the moment. Sometimes all you can do is survive, sit through and wait for it to stop. Resist. I have to be strong. My neighbour will stop (hopefully before I go to bed).
I am composed. I am more than just a label. Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes anxious (well more than just sometimes), sometimes playful, sometimes sad, sometimes brace, sometimes even too brave, sometimes creative, sometimes numb, sometimes... Oh by the way, I got a bipolar II diagnosis, for context. March 2020. Pastel on Canson cotton, honeycomb surface paper (32cmx24cm).
The picture is terrible. the colors are much brighter... Named for the person liked it most Marker, sharpie, watercolor markers. Simple way to get out of my mind, relax, zone out, I call it brain numbing style because to me it's simple (but it's not really) and just what I do no rhyme or reason. I Just start drawing lines (no subject) with black sharpie/perm marker and see what develops, often surprise myself. I go back and see faces, objects, figures... Closing lines up I see more and then as I start adding color more images develop, no theme to begin but rather it develops as I color and close it in . I tend to see faces a lot especially in graphite or charcoal and in just about anything...rocks, wood, paneling. At times I start with a scenery or subject but turns out completely different and the original never happened. I find out after I look up from being so focused (call it zoned out)
Shadows follow but I will move on! I have PTSD, so I am tormented by my past. Anxious for what's behind me. But I won't let that stop me! I may have "Lead in my shoes" (Dutch "Lood in mijn schoenen"), sometimes feel empty while on other times I am red from anger, nothing will stop me moving on. There will be temporary throwbacks, progress is not linear, but I will get there. I won't drown in self-pity this time.
First time oil pastel. Concepts and Hope: as a woman struggling with autism spectrum disorder I grew up not understanding basic concepts in the world around me. Maybe this is universal. I didn't understand why we had to go out to play in school for example, or I didn't understand other people might not be as honest as I always had been. A lot of concepts have a different meaning for someone like me. So here I am naked between the concepts, misunderstood but hopefully looking up. Maybe one day the world will be more like my ideals are, maybe I will create a circle around me of likeminded people, maybe the world will never change enough but I will find peace with myself. One day I will get peace, one way or another. Hope. Oh and yeah, it's a mess with the oil at the bottom. Does anyone have some ideas to improve my technique?
(In)secure
Some days I put on my "business outfit". Just so I look like I got it together and then I will start feeling that way too. That is: until I become a wreck in a business suit.
January 2020. Pastel on A3 paper
Recently re-watched.....a....certain...movie.....and felt persuaded to do this. I really liked the art style (not that i could do it myself) and wanted to try it in my own way. If you know what movie i'm talking about then feel free to comment it; i'm interested to see how many there are. Also, i would love some feedback on my art, this is the first one i've done with words in it sooo hopefully it "works".
Melma is a demon that is obsessed with fashion and making people work until they no longer can. She has a high opinion of herself and is known to get violent if people disagree with her.
Unfortunately, I broke up and separated with my girlfriend prior to Christmas. If there is an upside, it is that moving by myself has led me going through old work I’d packed up in various boxes - not opened for years. This is just an abstract biro doodle (+ markers for colour) I doodled, while working in a stupid telephone interview job in my early 20s.
Last month, on Artefact Challenge, I was the one choosing the theme.
After what I got them, I think it'll be the last XD
These were two characters meant for Okhong, for an eventual PONIES event, so I keep them for myself.
To the left, Fi, the unicorn centaur, on the right, Tak, the draft-horse centaur.
One of them is a mean killing machine, and it's not the draft-horse.
Fi: What did you say about my WIFE?
Tak: Dear: No.
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Le mois dernier, pour Artefact, c’était moi qui devait choisir le thème…
Je me demande si ce sera pas la dernière vu ce que je leur ai sorti XD
Il s’agissait de deux personnages que je voulais sortir pour un éventuel évent PONIES d’Okhong, du coup, je les ais gardé pour moi.
A gauche, Fi le licorne centaure, à droite, Tak, la percheronne centaure.
L’un des deux est une machine à tuer, et c’est pas la percheronne.
Fi: Qu'est ce que tu viens de dire sur ma FEMME?
Tak: Chéri: Non.
The first stage of clay is slip. Slip is watery clay; it is most often used to "slip and score", which I used to attach the features of the mug to the mug itself.
The second stage of clay is wet. Wet is moist, very plastic clay. Wet is the type of clay I love to use, just because it feels so fresh, and because it is moist enough that I don't have to soften it with water.
The third stage of clay is leather hard. Leather hard is the stage my mug was in after being left on the shelf for twenty-four hours or so. It is easier to cut but very difficult to sculpt.
The fourth stage of clay is greenware. Greenware is completely dry clay that is fragile and breakable. I would say that greenware is an overdose of leather hard for the clay. In other words, leaving clay out for a longer amount of time can turn leather hard clay into greenware.
The fifth stage of clay is bisque. This is the clay after its first firing. If it was grey clay, it is now white in this stage. It is now completely hard and no longer soft in any way. Bisque, luckily, is only one stage away from glaze...
The sixth stage of clay is glaze. This is the final firing and results in a smooth texture and a shiny look. I loved the way my glaze came out. While I was painting the mug, it was more of a ruddy red-brown but when it glazed, it turned out to be this beautiful spotted green.
My kids are fascinated with zombies, so I created this zombie alphabet for them since it is difficult to find kid-friendly zombies. The concept itself seems to be an oxymoron.
My kids are fascinated with zombies, so I created this zombie alphabet for them since it is difficult to find kid-friendly zombies. The concept itself seems to be an oxymoron.
My kids are fascinated with zombies, so I created this zombie alphabet for them since it is difficult to find kid-friendly zombies. The concept itself seems to be an oxymoron.
My kids are fascinated with zombies, so I created this zombie alphabet for them since it is difficult to find kid-friendly zombies. The concept itself seems to be an oxymoron.
My kids are fascinated with zombies, so I created this zombie alphabet for them since it is difficult to find kid-friendly zombies. The concept itself seems to be an oxymoron.
My kids are fascinated with zombies, so I created this zombie alphabet for them since it is difficult to find kid-friendly zombies. The concept itself seems to be an oxymoron.
I use to draw to create. Now, when I do, it's to speak to myself. To relieve some tension. To say something I can't say out loud. I'm not looking for anything here. I just hope that throwing these things out into the world will somehow take them off of my mind. Sorry, and thank you.
Sometimes I feel like a dumb doggy doing tricks to please my inner criticus and the people close to me. In the hope to be accepted by others and By myself. Guess what it doens’t work but I still keep doing it. Like the dumb dog I am.
