self

Doodle self-portrait in digital format in Photoshop

The jarring moment when you are asked a thoughtless question. The decision to respond appropriately and proportionately that protects yourself versus answering in a manner that protects the status quo.

Sticky-note warmup doodle ft: a burger, and octopus, a moth and its lover, an upset skateboarding pikachu, Patrick Swayze from Roadhouse, self-care, a grape loving internet duck, a soul, a kitty-rex, a misplaced turtle, and others.

"If Madonna's allowed to reinvent herself every 15 minutes, I figure I should be good for a change at least once every 20 years." - “Weird Al” Yankovic.

Doodle self-portrait in digital format with hand drawn collage doodles in Photoshop

"And I Can't Get It Out of My Head" Watercolor I feel like I may be cheating since the song I was inspired by is not so simple, but I'm pleased with the result. To be completely honest, this was the piece I needed right now. The past week has been interesting for me, I've found myself in a peculiar slump. There's not one thing I'm thinking or worrying about, it's a constant buzz of thoughts streaming through my head. Sometimes I can get the buzzing to quiet down, other times it gets overwhelmingly loud. I've always found art to be a release, it fills in the blanks when I can't figure out how to make my words work. Lately, it's been more of a challenge than usual, but I think this piece says all I've been wanting to say.

At the top of Pentregwenlais near Llandybie is Gwenlais Quarry. In itself, the quarry is quite beautiful with its sheer rock faces and the way that nature has started to reclaim it. This scene is one of the paths that leads down from the top of the quarry back towards Pentregwenlais. I was going to do it as a pen & wash but by the time I'd finished with the watercolour I thought it was too complex to start putting ink in there. Watercolours on watercolour paper (6x8")

First OFFICIAL Commission! 8x10, Watercolor and Pen. Hey everyone! This time, I'm actually back. First off, let me say I was not planning to fall off the face of the Earth again. At the time I last posted, I had a little less than a month of school left and I had hoped I could wrap up all my final projects early and be done. I was wrong. My teachers assigned more and I had work due up to the day before school ended, but I survived! Since my last post, I do have some updates. 1. I did indeed graduate high school! I was very lucky my school not only had a ceremony, but it was at Soldier Field. (I'm very happy to say I graduated Summa Cumme Laude and with the honors of completing the Alpha STEM and the Arts program.) 2. I also got an Instagram! I'll be using it not only to post final pieces but also as a way to post progress. {@mapalomar.arts} With regards to this painting, it is my first official commission, past commissions were from people I knew (family or friends) but this one isn't. I can say I'm pretty proud of the end result, especially as a person who doesn't consider themself a watercolor artist, it's not too shabby. :) Anyway, I hope this piece will have a safe journey all the way to its new home in Massachusetts.

18 SEP 2023

I said 'nobody listens to my music, nobody looks at my crappy drawings...I love being specialist', he said 'you're very self deprecating!', I said 'but you don't even like me?', he said 'that don't even make sense'...

Some time ago, I injured myself. This inspried me for this little drawing. Acylic ink and pastel on watercolor paper.

Meet Dr. Lorna Breen. She was in the trenches of the front line inside the New York hot zone during the first wave of the pandemic. She saw the massive influx of patients she knew she could not save (29,000 deaths reported in April, 2020). She contracted the virus and after recuperating, went straight back to work. A week and a half later, the hospital sent her home. Her family intervened to bring her back home to Charlottesville, Virginia. During her visit with her family, she seemed “detached.” She passed away April 26, 2020 at the UVA University Hospital in Charlottesville from self-inflicted wounds. "She tried to do her job, and it killed her… Make sure she’s praised as a hero. Because she was, she’s a casualty just as much as anyone else who has died." —Dr. Philip C. Breen, Father

I've spent recent lockdown days watching far too many Youtube videos about attachment styles and honestly it makes a lot of sense. Here is a little message for my anxious preoccupied self

My painted interpretation of a large quilt my grandma made and stitched by hand decades ago using upcycled shirts. It’s gotten a lot of use and is showing the wear and tear that a well loved quilt will show on a long enough timeline. Still, I can’t bring myself to put it away for long. While a piece of me thinks I should keep it safe and preserved, my grandma is a practical woman that likes knowing something she made is getting good use. A sentiment I can appreciate. And so, maybe I can extend it’s life through watercolor.

Pencil Sketch

Another outfit I'll plan on changing,it had more stripes,his outfit definitely looked better in my head.Fun fact:He has a British accent.he and Sweetnette have similar personalities.he is more quiet and more scared easily than Sweetnette,he often comes to trouble however by his side is Zippy Joy,he is another talking magical wand,he is a jokester and tends not to take things seriously despite this,he gives good advice to Flufe no matter what and saves him from peril other than Sweetnette and Harty.Flufe is shorter and thin,while Sweetnette is taller but she isn't necessarily thin either.both are 15.He has bigger grey circle eyes while Sweetnette has smaller oval shaped blue eyes.both are pink because pink is really a fun color (I detest the trope blue boy and pink girl)I believe there should be more pink boy characters in modern times.he has a overprotective guardian (his parents have passed away) Sourglum often tempts him to join her side much to her disappointment Zippy mocks her for being "a grouchy,rude,self absorbed wowser"which provoked her to attack him and Fluffe.

I pride myself for not being into internet drama or spreading gossip, but i do have a guilty pleasure. Mohammad agbadi is a youtuber who talks about problems with the art community, like tracing, theft, harassing and difficulties with etnic representation. Hopefully he wouldnt mind me borrowing his face to practise drawing black men... even though i heavily overworked his skin.

Immanuel Kant (1724–1804) Kant’s biography is unusually devoid of external events. As Heinrich Heine wrote: The history of Kant’s life is difficult to describe. For he neither had a life nor a history. In actual fact, as Manfred Kuehn argues in his 2001 biography, Kant’s life was not quite as abstract and passionless as Heine and others have supposed…. If he failed to live a more adventurous life, it was largely due to his health: the philosopher had a congenital skeletal defect that caused him to develop an abnormally small chest, which compressed his heart and lungs and contributed to a generally delicate constitution. In order to prolong his life with the condition—and in an effort to quell the mental anguish caused by his lifelong hypochondria—Kant adopted what he called “a certain uniformity in the way of living and in the matters about which I employ my mind.” This routine was as follows: Kant rose at 5:00 A.M., after being woken by his longtime servant, a retired soldier under explicit orders not to let the master oversleep. Then he drank one or two cups of weak tea and smoked his pipe. According to Kuehn, “Kant had formulated the maxim for himself that he would smoke only one pipe, but it is reported that the bowls of his pipes increased considerably in size as the years went on.” - From Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey #dailyrituals #inktober #ImmanuelKant @masoncurrey

Chromatography is used in chemistry to dissolve a mixture and place it into a "mobile phase," which allows the solvent to carry it and its components up the paper. It shows the layers, exposing deeper, hidden tones and colors, something only seen when a solvent of the same polarity is used. It's odd. Life feels a bit like that, and I'm seeing the colors separate for the first time. It's all there, everything that's been hidden in the inky mess for the past however many years. And now it's smeared. Bold. Clear. But blurry. What's on me and what's on you? Where do we go from here?

Doodle self-portrait in digital format with hand drawn collage doodles in Photoshop

A few more sketchbook drawings of my hand.

28 DEC 2023

Self portrait, minus a few accessories….#embracingnightmares

Challenged myself to make a digital doodle everyday for the month of May to get more comfortable working digitally.

Done 2022. This is my latest artwork so far as i have 2 color pencil ARTS in the making. with lead pencil on 9x12 bristol original up for sale $45+s/h . if interested leave a comment or jungmeister4@yahoo.com. ALSO THERE IS STORY TO THIS DEVIL'S TREE AND IT IS REAL STORY. DO NOT SCARED AS YOU READING YOU WILL BE OK. This is one sinister looking tree, and according to the locals, who told us of its legends, everyone in the vicinity of Bernards Township seems to have a story about it. They say that at one time a farmer killed his entire family, then went to the tree to hang himself. According to some, numerous suicides and murders occurred around the evil arbor. Supposedly anyone who tries to cut down the tree comes to an untimely end, as it is now cursed. It is said that the souls of those killed at the spot give the tree an unnatural warmth, and even in the dead of winter no snow will fall around it. When Weird NJ visited the Devil’s Tree we noticed evidence that many attempts had been made over the years to fell the unholy oak, but all have failed. The tree stands all alone in the middle of a large field off Mountain Road. Its trunk has been severely scared by axes and chain saws, some wounds appearing to be quite old. Why no one has yet been successful in toppling the timber we cannot say for sure. Nor do we know what has become of those who have tried. One Weird NJ reader described the Devil’s Tree to us this way: There’s a big field and right near the road is the tree. It’s the only thing in the field. Supposedly it’s a portal to hell and a sentinel guards it. He drives an old black Ford or pick-up truck and will chase you down the road until a certain point. You will see headlights one second, and the next nothing – the car is just gone. Another local told us that the inherent unholiness of the Devil’s Tree is the result of the evil that men do, and should not to be blamed on the Devil. Devil’s Tree is a KKK Hangout There is a very evil truth to the mythology of the Devil’s Tree. At one time, Bernards Township was one of the central headquarters of the KKK in New Jersey – they held many demonstrations in our town and held many meetings throughout the hills. As per KKK policy, often they would lynch local African-Americans to set an example, not only to other African-Americans, but also as an example of their principles and resolve. The Devil’s Tree was more secluded in those times before the developments spread across the rural countryside like a blight. It stood in a very isolated area of woods and fields, far from the prying eyes of the police. The evil energy around the tree comes from the souls of dead men and women who were killed by this vile organization. If you look at the tree you can see the left most branch extends almost parallel to the ground. This was the hanging branch. Pretty freaky and true stuff. To freak ourselves out, sometimes my friends and I would drive down the road at night telling ghost stories. When the moon is a full red harvest moon, and the wind is blowing just right, it looks like there might be bodies hanging from the branch, slowly swaying in the breeze.” –Rob S. One of our readers reported that at times there have been bodies seen hanging from that branch, though they turned out to be merely uniformed dummies of rival high school football players hung in effigy by the local home team. The Devil’s Tree Will Break You At the time of our arrival to the Devil’s Tree, there was a six foot noose hanging from the big branch, which extends out of one side. We noticed what looked like claw marks from a person or very large animal. To get a better view, myself and a friend climbed the tree to see if any unique marks were further up. After we climbed up, we were sitting on the branch trying to remove the noose. As we sat on the branch, we began to hear noises coming from inside the tree. When these noises grew even louder, a big bang sounded and a burst of energy came from the tree sending myself and my friend flying into the air. When I crashed to the ground, I landed on my ankle, breaking it in 2 places. –Steve K. The Devil’s Tree and Heat Rock Right next to the Devil’s Tree, there is a rock. It is very warm. Some people call it Heat Rock. People say it is the gate to hell. –Elmo M. No Snow at the Devil’s Tree We went to the Devil’s Tree in December when the ground was snow-covered. However, an eight by twelve foot circle of ground around the tree was totally bone dry. Later, when we were driving home, one of our friends thought he was cool because he took a piece of bark off of the tree and had it on him in the car. We pulled the car over, yelled at him, and made him throw it out the window! –Damian The Mark of the Devil My friends and I went up to the Devil’s Tree one night and got out of the car and touched the it. Afterward we went to Applebee’s to get something to eat and everyone that was sitting at the table suddenly had all of our hands turn black! We don’t know why, but it took us two and a half hours to get the blackness off of our hands! –Melissa C. The Children of the Tree We have all heard the story of not messing with Devil’s Tree, so we were smart and didn’t mock the tree. We went right next to the tree, and put our ears next to the bark. We heard sounds of screaming and children playing. –Matt W. A Shocking Experience I went up to the Devil’s Tree this past mischief night with two of my friends (both of whom were girls). I just wanted to scare them. I told them all the stories and tall tales that went along with it. I parked the car and proceeded to get out and walk to the tree. I got within arms distance and reached out and touched it as I had many times before… it’s kind of like a ritual I have. When I placed my hand on the tree, a single strike of lightning illuminated the sky. I don’t know what caused it to happen, but when I touched the tree, the lightning struck, and when I took my hand off, the lightning disappeared. It could’ve been coincidence, or could have been paranormal proof of the legend’s truth. Either way I thought it was cool and it scares the hell out of me now. –Brian D. Don’t Pee on the Devil’s Tree! I am reminded of an incident which occurred about 8 years back, when I was in high school, concerning the Devil’s Tree. We had all heard the legend of this infamous spot and there was much talk of it around my school. One night, my friends and I decided to pay it a visit and see for ourselves how true the legends were. We headed out and came upon the tree. We all began to have very bad feelings and decided to scrap our idea of actually getting out of the car and approaching the scene. We turned around and left without incident. About a week or so later, the talk of the tree began to escalate and one of the kids in the popular crowd began saying that it was all a bunch of bullshit. A few days later, his mind would be changed forever. This guy and a carload of other rowdy types decided to go up to see the tree that weekend. On Friday night, they began their journey up the mountain to see what it was all about. A friend of mine was in that car, and his story is as follows. Apparently, after cruising back and forth several times, the kids were getting bad vibes and wanted to leave. The kid who was driving, and who was the one proclaiming in school that the story was bullshit became angry at the “wimps” for having bad feelings. He stated to his friends that he was going to prove once and for all that the story was nothing and that he wasn’t fazed by it. He pulled his car over on the side of the road, right before the bend and got out. Marching up to the tree, he began yelling challenges to the so-called spirits. Nothing happened, so to further prove his fearlessness, he pulled down his pants and urinated all over the base of the tree. Still, nothing happened. He muttered an “I told you so” and got back into the car. After starting the car, he began to drive towards the bend in the road slowly. Suddenly, without warning, the gas pedal of the car became floored and the car sped up all by itself. Surprised at what was happening, the guy was unable to control the car and it skidded out and collided into a tree. The kids in the car sustained minor injuries but the car was totaled. I showed the stories of the Devil’s Tree featured in your magazines to my sister. As I read the tales aloud she became very pale when I got the part about the headlights which follow you then go out suddenly. I asked her what was wrong and she replied, “Oh my God – I went up there about a year ago and got chased out by the same black pick-up truck. It was severely tailgating me and when we got a short distance away, the lights were just suddenly gone.” She and I have never gone back since then. I am open for commission using color pencil or lead pencil for original artwork of subject matters such as Sci-fi, Fantasy, Horror, Comics, Fanart, NSFW, Surreal art, Whimsical art, Abstract art, and Tattoo designs. Sizes range from 8.5x11, 9x12, 11x14, 11x17. The Commission rate starts from $20 and up. if interested leave a comment or jungmeister4@yahoo.com MY CALENDAR FOR SALE: https://www.artwanted.com/artist.cfm?ArtID=115637&Tab=Calendar

Impalla, Wart Hog and Topi is a strange painting of a young doll like female puppet head with large intimidating eyes. The scary doll head puppet looks like a frozen predator. Her expression almost ferrel but still oddly innocent at the same time. I chose the vintage storybook background based on the mottled rich tones of the paper itself and the fact that the title refers to prey and predators in Africa. It is an excerpt from an old African adventure story. I love the arresting expression and bright colours of this painting. She has great stopping power and evokes all kinds of emotions.

26 MAY 2023

Brown ink and watercolour on paper, 4x6". Reference photo from Deviant Art. This is probably the closest I've come yet to the style I'm trying so hard to learn. Being self-taught, I'm very much open to suggestions and advice.

(Gel Fineliner on A5 Paper) “Wait...Did you just call me Phil? I'm a multi-dimensional higher being, you ignorant little tit! You don't just call someone like me PHIL! I was about to share the fruits of my knowledge with your species, ushering in a new age which would have been a significant step in human evolution, but now you can all PISS RIGHT OFF! You humans deserve to wipe yourselves out!” (It is widely believed that humanity constantly subdues itself with lazy misunderstandings like this.)

Doodle self-portrait in digital format with hand drawn collage doodles in Photoshop