arts

Is that summer already?

Years ago, while digging through old journals and sketches, I stumbled across a quick, scribbled drawing of two pears. Beneath it, I'd written a raw and honest note: "Ann is pissed. I think it's because she's uncertain about me, us, life itself. She just ran into my car with the van. She says it was an accident, but she seems happier now—almost like it was cathartic. . . Like sex." At the time, I scribbled this in frustration, feeling a deep disconnect between us. Intimacy had become a confusing and distant concept in our relationship. The pears I'd sketched were rough and scratchy, charged with my chaotic feelings. Looking back, I see how emotions can drive us to strange actions, some intentional, some accidental, often leaving us oddly relieved afterward. Humans are complex, fascinating beings, navigating messy emotions and messy relationships, sometimes colliding intentionally or unintentionally, seeking relief in unexpected ways. Perhaps the pears were my subconscious pun on "pair," reflecting the awkward, confusing way Ann and I were bumping through life together—making messes, but occasionally finding strange humor and genuine catharsis in the chaos. I've learned to smile gently at the rawness of our humanity, appreciating even our scratchy sketches and emotional collisions. They're reminders that life, relationships, and our own hearts are never simple, but they're authentically human. Here's to embracing life's unexpected catharsis and finding humor in our imperfections.

World Book Day inspired art! Also, I need to finish my current read…

A little piece i did for ForArtSake gallery in Newport for their Itty Bitty show.

Almost at the end of the current sketchbook… draw all the narwhals!!

Filling my belly with the remnants of the night prior’s takeaway (almost always on Sunday mornings) before the day job starts is fast becoming a ritual of mine’s lately, hence the name of this one. The joys, eh?

Resting up before another big season starts!

As it says, with narwhals.

*Post-Christmas doodle sesh intensifies* All the cosmic Washi tape here gives things a kind of Douglas Adams-esque vibe…

Pencil

All hearts are good ones (let's hope).

Ripped from the pages of my School Of Visual Arts sketchbook and pasted onto black cardboard . Late 1980's....probably 1989.

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An image for an upcoming film. Stay tuned for more details. Ink and gouache on paper. A3. For Sale.

"Parts Unknown," Acrylic on Canvas, 18x24 Some actions we will never know the reason behind, and, quite honestly, we don't always need to know the answer. Anthony Bourdain committed suicide on June 8th, 2018, news that was shocking for most to hear. People continue to speculate what could have caused him to commit suicide, some feel he had more to do, to say before he died. Personally, I find there's some feeling of closure or completeness to his death. I don't know what the feeling is exactly, but it's there. It feels like he left on his own terms, decided it was time. I wouldn't consider his death as him waving a white flag to addiction and depression. He said his shows were intended to tell other's stories, tell them frankly and truthfully. It's interesting how blunt and honest he could seem to be about himself, though he kept so many layers held within. Although we'd love to have a clear cut answer, explanation, reason, what would knowing that information change?

this is a story of a little Lion Leo adventures in his dreams.

"My life vest is in the boat, and I'm in the water." ~ A blackout poem from a recycled page of Riding with the Hides of Hell, a young adult love story now titled Burnout.

Illustrated with Ink and Ink-Pens. Inktober 2018 Copyright by Carolina Matthes

First OFFICIAL Commission! 8x10, Watercolor and Pen. Hey everyone! This time, I'm actually back. First off, let me say I was not planning to fall off the face of the Earth again. At the time I last posted, I had a little less than a month of school left and I had hoped I could wrap up all my final projects early and be done. I was wrong. My teachers assigned more and I had work due up to the day before school ended, but I survived! Since my last post, I do have some updates. 1. I did indeed graduate high school! I was very lucky my school not only had a ceremony, but it was at Soldier Field. (I'm very happy to say I graduated Summa Cumme Laude and with the honors of completing the Alpha STEM and the Arts program.) 2. I also got an Instagram! I'll be using it not only to post final pieces but also as a way to post progress. {@mapalomar.arts} With regards to this painting, it is my first official commission, past commissions were from people I knew (family or friends) but this one isn't. I can say I'm pretty proud of the end result, especially as a person who doesn't consider themself a watercolor artist, it's not too shabby. :) Anyway, I hope this piece will have a safe journey all the way to its new home in Massachusetts.

A working page for a book i am developing about vampires. i starts with a raw ink sketch, gets scanned and i work them up on a xp pen tablet - but this is just experimental - and not final.

"His heart turned off when his mind needed to listen." ~ A blackout poem from a recycled page of Riding with the Hides of Hell, now titled Burnout.

On that afternoon I'm singing for the last time. I couldn't stand living in this world again Just the expression of my feeling on that day. If you like my art you can buy this art print or other on my shop : https://www.redbubble.com/i/art-print/The-last-song-by-misahiraysa/118153540.DJUF3

Page 18 of my Journey Journal. A study of my first impressions of the city of Berlin. Ink, gouache, watercolour on toned paper.

No, I can't get it out of my head, now my whole world is gone for dead. This song has been stuck in my head for a while now, kind of interesting. I apologize for the long ramble of reflection this will be, but here I go. It's been an interesting few weeks, ups and downs, odd mindsets, but here I am. I don't know, quarantine has shifted a lot of things for everyone, and I've noticed a lot of changes in myself. I jokingly say I'm becoming soft, but it's a bit true, in a good way. I'm thankful for so many people in my life, and I'm finally letting those people how much they mean to me. I know I've said this before, but gymnastics has really been getting me through, and I'm proud of all the progress I've been making recently. My coaches make my life better, they're just incredible people and I love them so much. Thank you to the person I had a whole long text conversation with tonight (you know who you are) and for always dealing with my chaotic self. And finally, I've started to accept who I am, and that's a nice feeling. There's still the dark parts, the static still consumes me from time to time, but tonight was a good night. Thank you for all the support from everyone (in and outside of this community!). I genuinely appreciate all of it

"Desire so strong that self-control felt like putting out a forest fire." 8" x 4" Graphite on Toned Paper Story and Timelapse: https://www.instagram.com/_apricotjams https://www.youtube.com Audio Journals: https://www.apricotjamspodcast.com League of Legends (LiveStream): https://www.twitch.tv/apricotjams Business Inquiries: apricotjamspodcast@gmail.com Official Links: https://www.pinterest.com/apricotjamspodcast https://www.twitter.com/_aprictotjams https://www.artstation.com/apricotjams https://www.doodleaddicts.com/apricotjams https://www.behance.com/apricotjams https://www.deviantart.com/apricotjamsofficial https://apricotjamsart.tumblr.com/ https://ello.co/apricotjams - © 2019 Apricot Jams

Ballpoint drawing on vintage paper.

This doodle is a mixed media work using orange and blue swirlies with layered abstracted and stylized details like spots, dots, and swirls.

Colorful Tuxedo Cat

I’m often asked about my Bic pen drawings and how I do them. It starts with a good foundational drawing, the ballpoint pen part is just trying to colour within the lines. I try to do my best to explain the process, but the best way to show my progress is by posting my efforts to master pen drawings over the span of 3 or so years. I have been doodling/drawing with ballpoint pens as far back as I can remember - they were cheap, readily available and always lying around the house. It wasn’t until I was bored during a particularly long team meeting-conference call (around 2016-17) that I started to think about the possibilities of ballpoint pens as serious portrait illustration tools. My first experiments with full colour ink portrait drawings were rather crude, but that’s the point of learning new techniques—as long as the curiosity and the love of drawing is there, you can transfer that skill and passion into any medium. Remember, the most exquisite drawings and paintings you see didn’t materialise fully formed, they started out as failed experiments. Failure after failure after failure. It’s important to remember this when you get discouraged (I've failed spectacularly over the years). The only difference between the accomplished artist and the beginner is hundreds of hours of practice. Talent can only get you so far. It’s the hard work that you do behind the scenes that makes your work look effortless. Keep doodling. Keep learning. Stay curious.